My First child.. Renesh was born with PRS.. PRS was something I didnt even know untill his birth. The name itself was very haunting..
Doctors didnt want to reveal much and just said he will be alright..
I remember the first time when I saw him in NICU, with tubes in his nose, oxygen mask, saturation monitoring machine, Needles poked on his tiny wrist.. I was devastated. Tears rolled down my cheeks, I wanted to scream, shout.. I wanted to question GOD why this happened to me, why me????
However there was no time for me to rejoice over the birth of my son (for whom I waited nine long months) or to grieve on the birth disorder that he was born with.. I had to be strong (or atleast pretend to be). The only thing I told myself "this child is mine and I have no choice, I have to make him live, I have to take care of him.. I not only have to be his mother but more than a mother can be...
Today he is 4 months old.. and everyday is a struggle but he has taught me the meaning of life. He has visited more doctors than I have seen in 20 yrs of my life and still we are ready to fight all odds... Though sometimes things seems tough and road ahead looks shady.. his smile brightens our way and he seems to be more than perfect to us :)
I found the below content on the email group of PRS effected children and it touched my heart. I couldnot control my tears after I read it and thought to share it with everyone who have less than perfect children and like me wanted to ask GOD WHY ME ??
some by choice,
a few by social pressure
and a couple by habit.
This year, nearly 100,000 women will become
mothers of handicapped children.
Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize
God hovering over earth selecting His instruments
for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son... Patron Saint, Matthew" "Forrest, Marjorie, daughter...
Patron Saint, Cecillia" "Rudledge, Karen, Twins... Patron Saint... give her
Gerard, he is used to profanity."
Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped
child."
The angel is curious, "Why this one, God?
She is so happy." "Exactly,"smiled God.
"Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter?
That would be cruel." "But has she got patience?" asked the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or
she will drown in a sea of self pity and despair.
Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.
I watched her today.
She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare
and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I am going to give her has his own world.
She has to make the child live in her world and that is not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in You."
God smiled, "No matter. I can fix that.
This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasped, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?" God nods.
"If she can't seperate herself from the child ocassionally, she will never survive.
Yes, here is a woman I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a "spoken word."
She will never consider a "step" ordinary.
When her child says "Momma," for the first time,
she will be present at a miracle and know it!
When she describes a tree or sunset to a blind child,
she will see it as few people ever see my creation.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see..
.ignorance, cruelty, prejudice... and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life
because she is doing My work as surely as if she were here by My side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asked the angel,
his pen poised in mid air.
God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."
